Mythical Services
Got a mess that’s truly monstrous? Whether you’ve got Bigfoot-sized mud tracks in the foyer or mysterious slime dripping from the ceiling, Cryptid Cleaning is here to make the grime disappear. Don't let your chores haunt you—reach out today for a quote that won't make you scream.
Regular Cleaning "The Daily Dread" - Standard Maintenance Cleaning
For the home that’s just a little bit haunted by everyday life.
Don't let the dust bunnies multiply into something more sinister. This service keeps the "ghouls" at bay with a top-to-bottom refresh of your living spaces.
Surface Sanitation: We wipe away the fingerprints of the unseen.
Floor Exorcism: Vacuuming and mopping to remove human (and non-human) tracks.
Kitchen & Bath Polish: Making your chrome shine bright enough to ward off spirits.
Can be scheduled on a Weekly or Bi-Weekly Basis
Pricing starts at $110 for standard home but price varies depending on house size.
Deep Clean "The Deep Dark Secret"
When "regular" clean just won't cut it, we go into the places you’re too afraid to look. We’re talking behind the fridge, under the bed, and inside those baseboards that haven't seen the light of day since the 90s.
The Grime Vanisher: Scrubbing away years of accumulated "ecto-grime."
Vent Purification: Ensuring your air is clear of spores, dust, and ancient curses.
Detail Work: We clean the corners where the shadows like to hide.
Pricing starts at $200 for standard home but price varies depending on house size and level of haunting.
Move-In/Move-Out "The Close Encounter"
Moving is a nightmare. Let us handle the cleanup so you can make a clean break. We’ll leave the place looking so pristine, the neighbors will swear you were never even there.
Total Site Decontamination: Every cabinet, closet, and crawlspace scrubbed.
Appliance Detailing: Restoring the oven and fridge to their pre-paranormal glory.
Window Clarity: Streak-free views so you can see what’s coming across the lawn.
Pricing starts at $200 for standard home but price varies depending on house size and level of haunting.
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Report a Sighting
Found something in your crawlspace that doesn't belong? Or maybe the 'move-out' mess is looking a bit too much like a crime scene? Whatever the anomaly, we have the gear to erase the evidence. Contact Cryptid Cleaning today to secure your slot in our rotation.
Note from Dispatch: We currently do not accept communication via Ouija board or telepathy. Please use the traditional human methods below.
Bigfoot@cryptidcleaning.com